So...background history time.
I am a military brat - moved all over - got to stay in one place for the majority of my youth...I was there from 3rd grade until I graduated.
My father was allowed the option to choose where his last station was going to be before his retirement (this is ideally where you want to spend the rest of your life). He could have picked to be stationed right where we were and we wouldnt have had to move at all. Which is what he, myself and my sister would have preferred. HOWEVER...none of us were in charge of making any decisions like that. My Mother has to have control and SHE decided that it would be best for us to move 9 hours away so that she could live closer to her parents. This did not go over well with me at all. I was about to turn 18 and madly in love with my highschool sweetheart. I could not imagine being away from him and all of my friends.
Again, it wasnt up to me.
Manipulation -
Now I was about to be 18 and technically you would think that I could have stayed behind as I was an adult and that I didnt have to be forced to move right? Wrong!
It went a little something like this - I bought a car. A 1995 Dodge Neon. I loved that car! I got it new off the lot. Of course I had no credit so it couldnt be in my name. I had stuffed tacos and rolled burritos at the bell long enough to save 3500.00 for a down payment. I gave that to my parents and we went shoppin for a car. It was in their name. I made every payment. 205.00 a month (damn I miss those cheap ass payments!). I paid my own insurance. I was a pretty responsible kid.
Here is what I was told.
Mother- If you dont move with us we will take your car and sell it.
Me - you can't do that I have paid every penny for it
Mother - I can do whatever I want it is in my name
Me - Seriously? That is completly unfair
Mother - one of many life lessons...life is unfair deal with it
Me - fine take it...I will save and get another one
Mother - How? you wont have a car to get to work or a place to stay...looks like your screwed...start packing your shit and lose the attitude
And so it was said and so it had to be -
I had to move the day after my 18th birthday.
I lived with my parents for about 3 months and then got my own apartment. I had to get out from under their control. I now know that I will never be out from under it.
My mom began making monthly trips back home to get her hair done. She just couldnt find anyone in the new state that she could trust.
After only living here a year I was told (two weeks before Christmas) that my parents were getting a divorce. I was so excited for my dad as I thought it was his idea. I was wrong. And he was hurt.
Apparantly her "hair trips" were more of the "go back home and fuck my dads best friend" trips. Now she was all in love and my dad was depressed.
She moved back to where I grew up leaving us behind in the state she made us all move to so that we could be closer to her parents.
My father went into a deep depression and I feared he would end his life. I moved back in with him to take care of him and make sure he would be OK. After about a year he was well enough for me to move back out.
Next my grandfather passed (my mothers dad) and she was not here for it
Then my grandmother was all alone and needed consoling and companionship - yep you guessed it - that had to be my job as well. I spent as much time as I could with her.
2 years later she died of cancer.
I have never moved back home - I lost the boyfriend (long distance lasted for about a year...way too much on that one to include in this post) I have grown up a lot since then and know that home will never be what it was when I was younger and there is nothing left for me there and no reason to move back now. I enjoy the miles between my mother and I.
So after all that - my mom still calls and asks me do you think your father will do me a favor? Fuck you mom he owes you nothing! Stop asking him for favors! You cheated on him with his best friend and left him heartbroken AND
you get half of his retirement and you think he OWES you a favor? He owes you a bitch slap to the face and a kick in the ass...of course these are not things I say out loud...sigh...and my dad...well... he always still does the favors..every time.
