Family - non optional

I like going to the grocery store and selecting what kind of cereal I am going to buy. And just think...cereal is not a long term commitment.  Cereal is something that you will eat from time to time and when it is gone you can go back to the store and get it again OR if you want you can try a different one.  AMAZING. 

I wish family was like that.  I didnt get to choose my family.  I was born into it.  I am not sure how.  If I didnt resemble my mother so much I would swear I was adopted.  I know you are supposed to think your parents are weird and "uncool" as an adolescent but I just entered my 30's and I cant stand my family for the most part.  I tolerate them.  I am not even very good at that.  I wonder if it is too early in my blogging to even get into the reasons I feel this way.  These are not statements you should ever say.  And most of you are probably reading this in disgust with one hand over your mouth thinking what an ungrateful bitch I must be to say these horrible things about my own blood...blah blah blah...YOU dont know them!

Let's start with Mommy Dearest shall we?
She is an emotional trainwreck that is a control freak beyond all control freaks.  She manipulates all she comes in contact with.  She is dishonest, unfaithful, rude, has horrible body odor and ALWAYS only thinks about herself while portraying herself to others that she is always doing for everyone else. 

What I am saying is that while she has her own interests in mind she will do a very miniscule "favor" for someone and then make sure that EVERYONE knows that she has done this favor.  An example would be insisting on picking up the tab on...oh I dunno... a candy bar ar a store and as she checks out and pulls out her DOLLAR she will smile really fake and say as loud as she can to cashier so that all can hear "THESE KIDS... SEEMS LIKE NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY GET YOU FIND YOURSELF STILL SPOILING THEM WITH EVERYTHING...HERES YOUR CANDY NATALIE"  Later in that same day she would then mention to her co-workers and her husband how nice she was to buy said candy bar.  Even later in the evening when we have an argument (oh yea...that is inevitable) she would cry and say that she bought me a candy bar dont I remember?????  Then inform me AGAIN that I take her for granted and dont appreciate any thing that she does.   Now the candy bar could have been bought in August.  Now with my Christmas card she will make a note..." Here is your present and remember I also bought you that candy bar so that was part of it to."

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING!  And these are tiny examples.  She is unbearable to be around.  I just cant do it.  We no longer live in the same state and that is a wonderful thing. 

Visitation -
As I said I no  longer live in the same state as my mother.  This also means I no longer live where grew up.  I used to visit quite frequently.  Seems like the perfect getaway right? Drive 9 hours and spend a long weekend where I grew up, stay with my mom for free and hang with my friends right?  right? RIGHT? no...no...no...never!  It is never fun anymore.  When I do go my mother wants to monopolize all my time and actually make me feel guilty for going to see my friends.  She wants to plan my trip down to the minute.  She has a BETTER way of doing everything.  so...lets say I am there Thurs through Monday...and I want to spend Sat with my girlfriends...and the REST OF THE TIME I OFFER TO STAY WITH HER...except while she is at work.  Not good enough.  "You should come to work with me and sit and visit.  I really dont appreciate you coming to town and wanting to spend all your time with your friends, you are only spending time with me for a free place to stay", all of this while crying her eyes out...its actually so much worse than this but I am trying to give you an idea.  
I actually went there this past year and DIDNT tell her I was coming and stayed with a friend.  It was the best trip I have ever taken there! I had fun. 

You will hear A LOT about my mother.  Again after reading this I am sure I am coming across as a bitch and my  mom is probably just a sweet lil ole lady that wants to spend time with her daughter and yada yada yada...I promise you that is not the case.  There is so much more to all of this.  You will see...

Stick around long enough and you will despise her as well. Many more stories and explanations to come...